Have you ever yearned for more meaningful connections and supportive bonds that go beyond surface level? You're not alone. Making friends later in life can feel daunting. Let's delve into the fine art of finding new connections...

Embracing vulnerability: what am I actually looking for?
In a world that portrays adulthood as a time of settled social circles, it's important to explore your own truth. Perhaps you've outgrown your old circle (or the circle has dwindled), or never found the true, deep and lasting connections you're seeking.
Wanting new friendships as you mature is both healthy and representative of your growth - as you mature, those around you tend to either grow with you, or eventually become less a part of your life.
Let's look at the skills you'll need to begin replenishing your friendship circle.
Start by defining what you actually want. Get to know yourself, your values and the specific types of connections you are seeking. Acknowledging your fears, hopes and dreams may feel uncomfortable at first, but defining them with openness and vulnerability is the first step towards finding genuine connections. (Counselling can help if you're unsure where to start).
Explore how you show up as a friend yourself. Do connections energize you, or can they drain your social battery? Attempt to understand the ideal balance for yourself in terms of social interaction and prepare to be authentic about this as you meet others.
Once you have a deeper sense of the connections you seek, you are ready for the next step....
Interests over individuals: start here
To expand your social circle as an adult, you'll need to bravely step out into the world (eek!). Sounds awkward but read on, you've got this lovely reader (and it happens to be super simple)...
Follow your passion, it will lead you to the best people. Read that again.
Research and attend events that attract your interest, join fun community groups, volunteer for something meaningful, and/or enrol in classes focused on interests you enjoy. Gravitate towards things that genuinely matter to you. Doing so creates opportunities to start low-key mini conversations, make great new memories and enjoy shared experiences with others whilst having the time of your life.
Get ready to feel mildly uncomfortable at first. (You can always leave if it doesn't suit you). The important part is taking that first step, showing up and trying that new thing...
Immersing yourself in fascinating new environments not only broadens your horizons but also increases the likelihood of meeting like-minded (and potentially awesome) individuals who genuinely share your passions and enthusiasm.
The beauty of this approach is that reaching towards inherently enjoyable activities brings its own rewards, the people you meet (and new friendship possibilities) are just a fabulous bonus.
Old relationships: treasures hidden in plain sight...
Adult friendships can also stem from nurturing existing relationships. Consider reconnecting with lovely old friends, colleagues, or acquaintances you've lost touch with over the years.
Rekindled connections can morph into meaningful present-day friendships, with shared memories and experiences laying the groundwork for a renewed bond. Reach out, schedule a catch-up and let the potential magic of rediscovery unfold.
Be selective: not everyone is your peach
As you expand your social circle, it's wise to be selective about who you choose to include in your life. The best matches are those whose energy and effort resonate with your own. Aim to create a circle of individuals who accept the authentic version of you, share your values, respect your boundaries, demonstrate honesty and genuinely care about you.
Perhaps factors like maturity, empathy and emotional intelligence matter to you? Look for evidence of these as you get to know others. Be selective about who you choose to devote time and energy to.
Be wary of those who come on too strong, take more than they give, seem competitive rather than supportive, are dishonest or who aren't authentic in their actions - these are powerful red flags. Just remember, people will show you who they are. It is up to you to listen carefully to this.
Explore diverse perspectives: you don't know what you don't know...
As an adult seeking new connections, consider deliberately pursuing rich and diverse perspectives.
Consider engaging in conversations with individuals from varied walks of life, different ages, backgrounds, perspectives. Listen attentively and be open to learning and connecting. In fostering friendships with people who bring unique viewpoints to the table, you can expand and enrich your own worldview and create new bonds that transcend stereotypes. Don't limit yourself.
So, embrace the journey...
The path to finding new friends as an adult is filled with possibilities and opportunities for growth. When you define your needs, embrace your "why", follow your interests and passions, explore existing relationships and consider diverse perspectives, you open the door to meaningful connections that can nourish your soul.
So, dive in with an open heart, a curious mind, and a willingness to forge ties that bring rich new memories and meaning into your life. New friendship opportunities may be waiting just around the corner, along with shared understanding, laughter, encouragement and good times... It all starts with taking that initial step.
Friendship. Adult Relationships. Vulnerability. Need help getting started? Ask me, I'm a registered Counsellor with a focus on relational dynamics. Let's navigate this challenge together.
Carolyn xx
Learn more about counselling here: www.talktocarolyn.com
Read more blog posts here: www.talktocarolyn.com.au/blog
Visit Carolyn's Facebook page here: https://www.facebook.com/counsellingbycarolyn
Book in for assistance here.
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