As a counsellor, I find the issue of 'stuck-ness' to be INCREDIBLY common amongst my clients. Everyone gets emotionally stuck in their life from time to time, so let's look at what can help you to move through this feeling and get back on track.
Stuckness. It's when you just can't move forward. You'd REALLY like to, but you somehow can't.
Your mind replays the same old thoughts and doubts over and over again. It's like there's an invisible wall in front of you. You're pulled back to THAT thing, person, circumstance, belief, limitation, feeling.... and it's affecting your ability to live your life with freedom and peace.
The good news is that living in 'stucks-ville' can be overcome, the bad news is that it's an INSIDE job. You can't wait for it to happen; it comes from a change in you. The solution and way forward is already in you and I'm going to help to get you started.
Within the therapy space, we first look for factors that may be keeping the client on 'stuck-street'. Cognitive distortion (faulty thinking), personal limiting beliefs, a person's traumatic experiences, the influences around them (past and present) and many other factors play a role in this. These aspects may have shaped the client's way of perceiving themselves and their life, plus the options they believe are now available to them.
Isolate the learnings, influences and backstory that keep you trapped in your 'stuck-cycle'. Are these things actually still valid in your life? Do these thoughts sound like someone else's voice? (For example, a critical parent, a teacher you had who wasn't encouraging, someone from the past who unfairly judged you)? Perhaps the limiting thoughts are keeping you safe (too safe?) from taking a risk, doing something different or being who you actually want to be right now - the real you. This perfectly imperfect person with hopes and dreams beyond the 'stuck-zone'.
Knowing your 'why' will help you to practice a new, lovely-feeling, self-compassionate inner dialogue. You need you on your team to notice your own faulty thinking, provide encouragement when you start getting in your own way, and to celebrate the baby steps you take that bring you -slowly and surely - towards where you want to be.
Now that you know the origins of your stuck-ness (fear, conditioning, faulty perspectives etc), you can begin to strategise the baby steps that will take you past 'stuck-city'. What are the tiny steps you need to undertake to get to where you want to be?
The steps will be things you can control, action and deliver. All by yourself. They will be slightly challenging but not impossible. Break it down into little, easy to achieve bites. An example could be to sign up to learn something new, finally unfriend that person, go for a jog each day, get yourself amongst a new tribe, start a side hustle, apply for that job, find a mentor, research your dream idea, engage a professional to help you.... Do something every single day that honours who you want to be. If you plan it, you will get it done my friend.
Remember to celebrate every effort, every positive new thought, all your self-encouragement and each achievement, large or small. Not everyone in your world will support you in this but that's ok. You're doing this for you.
Stuckness. You don't need to feel this way. In fact, the sensation of being stuck is generally a good signal to you that some self-compassionate thought and effort are now required to re-position yourself for success. There is a way forward and you can do it. I know you can.
Need help? Ask me, I'm a registered therapist and I can assist you or recommend someone who can.
Carolyn xx
FB: @counsellingbycarolyn